It's About Them

Young People … Our Greatest Resource

Part 3 of 3: Why Some Behavior is Inappropriate

THEIR BEHAVIOR IS AN ATTEMPT TO ‘FIX’ THE PROBLEM 

Behavior quite often speaks loudly; sometimes it screams at us. What a child DOES is the best indicator of what’s going on inside. A child’s behavior is not difficult to read, but it does take a bit of practice.

If a youngster is fearful that his parents will separate and divorce, how does he stop them? I’ve seen kids get into so much trouble at school the parents had to come together to deal with it. As long as they youngster is in trouble, Mom and Dad are communicating. So what would the youngster continue to do in that situation?

I remember a high-school girl from a single-parent family (her mother was deceased, one huge, unaddressed source of the girl’s unhappiness) whose father was on the road all the time in his work. She found a way to pull him off the road; she failed the ninth grade (in fact, she failed it more than once)!

When a small child criticizes the artwork (or other accomplishments) of other youngsters, is it possible she’s really saying, “What happens around her to a little girl who doesn’t know how to draw very well?”

What’s the message when a boy destroys the new bicycle he just got for his birthday? Could he be saying, “I’m not the kind of kid who deserves a nice bike like this,” not to mention the hurt he could inflict on his parents with such an action.

Mary is crying. Her best friend is concerned and says, “What’s wrong, Mary?” In response Mary screams, “Can’t you just leave me alone? Why do you keep butting into my business?” Could it be that Mary, in her turmoil, can’t handle the closeness of a friend right now?

Research tells us that happiness is relationship driven. No surprise; all of the examples we’ve considered here involve relationships. Although relationships are our greatest cause for unhappiness, we need others to be happy.

James Sutton, Educator/Psychologist

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July 12, 2006 - Posted by | Difficult Child, Educators, Parents

1 Comment »

  1. This is very nice and informative post. I have bookmarked your site in order to find out your post in the future.

    Like

    Comment by Shopping Resource | August 18, 2007 | Reply


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