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Oppositional Defiant Disorder Digest (August, 2010)

ODD Management Digest

(August, 2010)

 

The August, 2010, issue of the resource for parents, teachers and counselors, the ODD Management Digest, has been published to the web. For a complimentary (free) subscription, CLICK HERE. (If you miss the August, 2010, issue, subscribe anyway. Any current Digest will direct you to archived issues.)

Here’s what in the August, 2010, issue:

 

TIPS FOR PARENTS

Take a Moment: Three things are discussed for bringing back a more hopeful perspective regarding a difficult and defiant child.

HANDLING CLASSROOM CHALLENGES

“Before I Get Mad” Poster: A teacher in West Virginia shares a fun and effective way to teach students how to control emotional outbursts.

THE COUNSELOR’S CORNER

The List:  What do you do if a youngster comes to counseling or therapy with a list of items they want to cover during every session? Interesting.

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Finding a Counselor or Therapist (Part One): This is the first of two parts of an answer to a father’s questions about what makes a good counselor or therapist for his child, and where does one find them.

FREEBIES

(E-Book) The Behavior Modification Trap: This 18-page e-book is actually the sixth chapter from Dr. Sutton’s latest work-in-progress, The Changing Behavior Book. In this e-book, Dr. Sutton addresses why tangible rewards and incentives often fail with some youngsters, and what can be done to defeat the “trap”.

WHAT’S NEW?

Digest Archives: Dr. Sutton discusses how back issues of the Digest are still being archived, and shows readers how to access them.

LIFE’S MOMENTS

How Long? This is Dr. Sutton’s tribute to the late Art Linkletter, who passed away this summer at age 97. Included is “My Best Introduction”, Linkletter’s contribution to the book for grandparents, Grand-Stories.

For a complimentary subscription to the ODD Management Digest, CLICK HERE. The Digest will appear monthly in your email as long as you want, and you can cancel it at any time.

August 11, 2010 Posted by | adversity, Counselors, Difficult Child, Educators, Links | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ASK!

ASK!  One of the reasons why I featured the interview with child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Doug Riley, in the July issue of the ODD Management Digest is because of something he said in the interview. It struck a chord with me:

When I talk to parents about how their child is thinking, they often ask me, “Well, how do you know what he’s thinking?” The answer is simple; I ask the child, “What are you thinking? And I do my best to help them from there.

 

Asking is worth the effort, but it’s not always a simple matter. One of the obstacles a counselor or a therapist faces with a child or adolescent is the youngster’s perception that they are in trouble, and that the counselor or therapist is a consequence of their behavior. Often, that’s exactly the case, so it’s not unusual for kids to be guarded initially.

(Guardedness is a normal response, and any efforts to entice or force youngsters to speak are only going to kick their guardedness into the next gear.)

So, if you want to know something, ask. Good counselors and therapists make their mark and their living on asking the right questions and asking them well. Here are three suggestions for asking:

Ask with acceptance: They know if you can do this or not, and they pick up on it quickly. About a year or so ago, I worked with an elderly fellow in a nursing home. While trying out his new scooter that had just arrived from the VA, he accidently ran over a lady’s foot. His “punishment” was psychotherapy … ME! 

Naturally, he resented it … and me, also. I asked him if he would let me work with him. I suggested that, so long as I was seeing him, staff would leave him alone. I also deemphasized his “crime”, and instead worked with him on issues of his health and family that caused him to lose his home and independence. We developed an excellent relationship that has lasted long past that initial therapeutic alliance. (Yes, I know this example does not involve a child or adolescent but, at some point, young folks and old folks are very similar in their behaviors and issues.)

Ask with interest: With doctors they call it “bedside manner”, that ability to connect with a patient so well that the packed waiting room seems not to matter at all. It’s that capacity to focus so intensely on a youngster and her circumstances that it augments healing directly. It’s the magic wrapped up in a question like:

 

You know, Sarah, I’m not sure I understand, but I WANT to understand. Can you help me understand what you mean?

 

Ask with empathy: No youngster goes to see a counselor or therapist because their lives are going splendidly. There is pain somewhere and it’s seen in the sort of discomfort that is almost palpable.

Sometimes the direct approach is best:

Tommy, it seems to me you don’t really want to be here right now, that you’re uncomfortable about this visit. (I usually pause for some sort of acknowledgement.) If I could do something that would help you feel better about it, what would it be?

 

The youngster might or might not offer anything specific, but the question is disarming and amazingly soothing. It also helps to get to issues quickly. Tommy wants to know you care, and that you will actively demonstrate that caring.

August 4, 2010 Posted by | Counselors, family, Healthy living, Humor, Parents, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oppositional Defiant Disorder Management Digest (July, 2010)

ODD Management Digest

(July, 2010)

 

The July, 2010, issue of the resource for parents, teachers and counselors, the ODD Management Digest, has been published to the web. For a complimentary (free) subscription, CLICK HERE. (If you miss the July, 2010, issue, subscribe anyway. Any current Digest will direct you to archived issues.)

Here’s what in the July, 2010, issue:

 

TIPS FOR PARENTS

Discipline Problems at School, Part Two: This is the second part of a two-part series on discipline issues at school. In this issue, a “collaborative” approach to intervention is discussed.

HANDLING CLASSROOM CHALLENGES

Celebration of Learning Day: A teacher in Kansas shares how her husband encourages achievement in his classroom by getting everyone involved.

THE COUNSELOR’S CORNER

Ask! We can learn a lot about a youngster by simply asking. Three suggestions for asking are discussed.

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

The Kid Who Wants to STAY Angry, Part Two: This is a second part of an answer to a parent’s concern. This part offers ideas for intervention into the four most typical reasons why children and teens elect to remain angry rather than resolve it.

FREEBIES

A Special Interview: The “freebie” for this issue is a strikingly candid and informative interview with the author of the bestselling book, The Defiant Child.

WHAT’S NEW?

Digest Archives: Dr. Sutton discusses how back issues of the Digest have been archived, and shows readers how to access them.

LIFE’S MOMENTS

How Long? This is Dr. Sutton’s tribute to the late John Wooden, the legendary coach of the UCLA Bruins. Included is a wonderful great-granddad story Coach Wooden sent to Dr. Sutton for inclusion in the book, Grand-Stories. Don’t miss this one!

For a complimentary subscription to the ODD Management Digest, CLICK HERE. The Digest will appear monthly in your email as long as you want, and you can cancel it at any time.

July 12, 2010 Posted by | Counselors, Difficult Child, Educators, family, Healthy living, Parents, Self-esteem, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment