It's About Them

Young People … Our Greatest Resource

Bitter or Better: A Lesson Worth Teaching Our Children

Kids aren’t adults, of course, but they watch the adults in their lives. Sometimes they even watch them too closely. Our children (and grandchildren) tend to copy the attitudes and behaviors they see right in front of them. How we handle disappointment and conflict with others does matter. We can become bitter or we can become better, and the outcomes easily can reach across generations.
Here’s a story I first became aware of a number of years ago. It makes a beautiful point of how frustration often can be channeled into something very positive. (I shared this story once in a keynote address and was pleased when it was verified by an attendee that had graduated from Berry College.)

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Today, Berry College, Mount Berry, Georgia, rests on 26,500 acres of small-town environment not far from Atlanta. It has grown since its humble beginnings in 1902, the fruition of a dream of its founder, educator Martha Berry.

Berry School was built to serve needy youngsters, and Martha Berry was said to have the “touch” for turning nothing into something. She knew her cause was a good one, so she was never shy when it came to advocating for poor, but promising, young people.

Henry’s Dime
When presented with an opportunity to meet Henry Ford at an important function, Martha Berry did not hesitate to ask him for $1 million for her school’s endowment. (Hey, if you’re going to ask … ASK!)

History has it that Mr. Ford reached into his pocket and presented her with a dime.

A dime? Yes; one of the richest men in the country donated a dime to Martha Berry’s school.

At this point, put yourself in her shoes. What would you have thought or said to what seemed such an insult? What would you have done? (At very least, I would have shuffled him to the bottom of my Christmas card list.)

The 10-cent Challenge
Martha Berry did a marvelous thing. Without changing her expression, she thanked Ford as graciously for the dime as she would have had he given her the million bucks. Then she went home and went to work.

She took the dime and bought ten cents’ worth of peanut seed and set her mountain schoolboys to planting. They took that crop as seed to plant more peanuts, and then they took the peanuts from the second crop and sold them at a small crossroads store. The peanuts brought in enough income to purchase a piano for the school’s music department.

Mission Accomplished
Martha Berry wrote to Henry Ford explaining how she had turned his dime into a piano. He must have been impressed, for he sent Berry a train ticket and an invitation to be their house guest at Henry and Clara Ford’s home in Detroit. He not only opened his home to Martha Berry, he opened his checkbook.

Martha Berry went back to Georgia with Henry Ford’s check for $1 million. ###

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April 25, 2018 Posted by | adversity, Affirmation and Recognition, confidence, Educators, family, Healthy living, Human Interest, Parents, Resilience, Success Strategies | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Your Sports Team’s Loss is Bad for You (Mike Ferry)

Well, just in time for March Madness, here’s an excellent piece by Mike Ferry explaining how, when our team wins or loses, our overall mood tags along. Why does this matter to one’s overall health (and ultimately the family’s health as well)? Read on. –JDS

This might be considered a character flaw, but I’ll admit it.  My mood depends mightily on the successes (or failures) of the University of North Carolina’s sports teams.  During the fall, I’m elated when the Tar Heel football team wins on Saturdays.  In the winter, I’m crushed when Carolina’s basketball team drops a game that ought to have been a victory (especially when the Heels lose to the despised Duke Blue Devils).  Finally, as temperatures rise and college baseball season progresses, my hopes of another trip to Omaha’s College World Series are aroused.  Perhaps I shouldn’t allow 19-year-olds to determine my emotional well-being, but that’s not likely to change any time soon.

When Carolina wins, I feel happier and more energetic.  On the other hand, after a Tar Heel loss I tend to be grumpy and lethargic.  Fortunately for me, UNC’s sports teams tend to prevail more often than not.  When the Tar Heels let me down, however, it can be difficult to function as effectively as normal.
Perhaps you find yourself in a similar situation.  When your baseball team sweeps a series, you’re on cloud nine.  On the other hand, you’ve lost the will to live after your football team surrenders a huge lead and blows a game the whole world thought it had won (sorry, Atlanta Falcons fans).

What Studies Have Found

Recent psychological studies have focused on the impacts that a team’s successes and failures can have on fans.  Their findings have intriguing implications for homes, schools, workplaces, and public health.  One team of researchers explored how soccer games in Greece might affect worker productivity.  The researchers hypothesized that fans’ heightened emotions on game day would carry over to the workplace.  If a team played well, workers would feel enthusiastic and vibrant.  Following a poor showing, however, employees would be withdrawn and morose.  The results of this particular study were in line with these hypotheses.  Fans who were satisfied with their team’s performance in a game showed little change with regards to mood, work engagement, and productivity.  Those who were upset with the way their team played, however, had more negative moods and lower levels of engagement and productivity.

Another study found that sports team losses can actually be harmful to your health.  Researchers investigated the relationship between NFL game results and food consumption in over two dozen American cities.  They predicted that fans of losing teams would experience “self-regulation failures” that drove them to consume unhealthy food.  Supporters of winning teams, in contrast, would make healthier eating decisions.  Again, the results of the study mirrored its hypotheses.  Results showed that people in cities whose football team lost on Sunday ate 16 percent more saturated fat the next day.  Conversely, residents of cities whose NFL teams won ate about nine percent less saturated fat than normal.

Getting Back on Track

These studies illustrate some surprising impacts of our addiction to sports.  Victories increase our brain power and lead us to make healthier decisions, while losses make us less productive and more susceptible to unhealthy behaviors.  In our families, classrooms, and offices, we should realize that external factors like sporting events can influence our moods and abilities to perform.  By practicing happiness habits including gratitude, kindness, mindfulness, and laughter, we can get ourselves back on track.  Even if Carolina loses (gulp) to Duke.

Source: Psychological Science

Mike Ferry is the author of Teaching Happiness And Innovation and a mental conditioning expert.  As an online educator, Mike helps parents form stronger relationships with their teenage children.  As a speaker, he works with businesses and non-profits to boost creativity and productivity.  For more information, visit his website – here.

March 14, 2018 Posted by | ADHD, adversity, anger, Anxiety and Depression, confidence, courage, family, Healthy living, Human Interest, Parents, Resilience, Self-esteem, Stress | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What Belief Can Accomplish (Dr. James Sutton)

One of the most important things we can teach our students, children and grandchildren is that belief can help or hinder what we wish to accomplish. In fact, I think it was Henry Ford that said something to the effect of “Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, either way, you’re correct.” That’s something to ponder. This story is one I read or heard a number of years ago. What is here comes from my memory of it. –JDS

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The young businessman was distraught. Shortly after the Great Depression started in 1929, his business and his dreams began failing rapidly. Customers were not paying and suppliers were demanding their money. He didn’t have many options … except bankruptcy.

In his despondency, he sat down on a park bench, his troubles paramount on his mind. A well-dressed elderly gentleman approached him and sat down.

“Young man, you seem to be carrying the world on your shoulders. Would you care to tell me about it?”

Appreciative of someone to talk with about it, the young man told his story.

“I believe I can help,” the old man shared after listening patiently. “While in my youth, I was in similar circumstances several times. I know what you are going through.” He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a checkbook.

“I’m writing you a check for $500,000; that should get you through this tough spot. Then, exactly one year from today at this very same time, meet me right here on this park bench and tell me what you did and how it went for you.”

The young man was surprised, of course, then dumbfounded when he read the signature on the check as it was handed to him: John D. Rockefeller. He agreed to the Mr. Rockefeller’s terms, thanked him profusely, then ran back to his office to put the precious check in his safe.

Bolstered with the confidence of half a million dollars in his office safe, the young businessman devised a plan to recover his business and put it back on his feet. He negotiated better contracts, collected payments owed and paid off his creditors. In a bit less than a year, he and his business had completely recovered, and, all the while, Mr. Rockefeller’s check remained in his safe. He never had to cash it. Simply knowing he had it gave him the confidence he needed to bring his business back to life.

The young man could hardly wait to share his good news with Mr. Rockefeller at the appointed day and time a year later. And, true to his word, Mr. Rockefeller was waiting for him on the park bench.

The young businessman shared how the year had gone, and how things had turned around completely in his business. Then, as a final touch, he handed the check back to Mr. Rockefeller, sharing how just having it in his office safe made all the difference he needed.

Just as he handed the check back, a woman in a nursing uniform approached them on the bench. With a frown on her face, she spoke to the old man.

“Oh, THERE you are! Now, you know you are not supposed to go traipsing off by yourself. You might get hurt.” As she reached for his hand, she turned and addressed the young businessman.

“And, sir, I’m so sorry if he’s caused you any trouble. You see, the problem is, he just loves to come to this park and pretend he’s JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER!

March 4, 2018 Posted by | adversity, confidence, courage, Healthy living, Human Interest, Inspirational, Resilience, Self-esteem, Stress | , , , , , | Leave a comment